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14. SmileWho cares?
I don't know what I'm doing.
Should I even be here?
It's not like I had a choice.
I've been lost for so long.
I probably wouldn't even recognize myself.
Can I pull through though?
I'm having this weird sense of foreboding.
Racing through the past few months.
As if I had a vendetta.
Odd how things turn out.
It's never like you expect it to be.
So here I am, wondering what to do.
Do I dare to take the plunge?
Or do I walk away, after all this time?
If only there was a manual to life.
Ever wish you could glimpse the future?
Just a little bit, one small step.
Just to make sure you're not making the biggest mistake of your life.
Screw it. Let's have fun.
11. MemoryHow did it come to this?
I can't say I'm proud of my work.
My path has seemed to turn amiss.
It makes me want to go berserk.
That which haunts me to this day.
Doing what I do to get by.
How can I keep that at bay?
I'm sick of people asking me why.
But the things I do now.
As they use me as they will.
Sure seem to break a vow.
Though it gives them quite a thrill.
It's my job to make them forget.
They think they're in control.
Think I'm the best thing yet.
As they try to fill my hole.
All means to an end, right?
Messed up, am I? For sure.
I'm trying to forget that night.
Ever looking for a cure.
8. InnocenceSisters, don't worry so much.
These things too will pass.
Even though we're in a clutch,
No need to break the glass.
Fate has dealt us a cruel hand.
But what else can we do?
Then do what was planned?
This I ask the two of you.
We must trust our father.
However hard this may be.
Sure it might cause bother.
But please, have faith in me.
We've been through a lot.
It won't end soon.
But it's not all for naught.
We'll have our boon.
Dear father, you are lost.
Ever searching for the taken.
But what will be the cost?
Will we be forsaken?
Come to a halt.
Give us a kiss.
It is not your fault.
When will you see this?
Please, stop this folly.
We can't take it anymore.
Let us be jolly.
And finally close this door.
10. Breathe AgainAll alone, is how I find you.
What could be the cause of this?
Amongst the flotsam, what a view.
To make things seems so amiss?
Where are your friends?
Forgive me, for I am no seer.
Did they meet their ends?
Please tell me, why are you here?
I beg of you, sir, wake up.
Believe me, you don't look good.
I don't know much, I'm but a pup.
But you've been here longer than you should.
Cold and wet, this is how you are found.
From whence did you disappear?
It's a miracle you haven't drowned.
But you have to make this clear.
Can you hear me, calling?
Don't fall victim to the sea.
Or am I too late, you falling?
Damn it, come back to me!
9. DriveYou left me here, just discarded me.
How could you, if you barely knew me?
Was I a burden, to much to carry?
An accident, a mistake, too scary?
Outcast, freak, that's what they see.
I don't belong here, I'm sure you'll agree.
Why do I keep on searching?
Ever looking for answers, lurching.
My friend says to keep faith.
Not to be ruled by this wraith.
How can I, when you didn't?
You were gone, without a hint.
Should I give up? Let it go?
What's that? Oh, is that a no?
How long can I keep going?
Really, without this not knowing.
You left me with questions.
Anyone have any suggestions?
7. HeavenWhere did you go old man?
Have you finally found rest?
Or was this more than a plan?
And is this my next test?
Far away from us you are.
From doubt and worry.
Do I now go to the bar?
To make things blurry?
From the toils of war and famine.
You have gone, afloat.
But what about the shy gamin?
That comes with the boat?
Are you at peace with the others?
Finally, after all this time?
Or do you miss your brothers?
And wish for an other time?
Where did that smile go?
Reserved for a special few.
This will come as a blow.
But this you already knew.
What am I to do now?
Follow your lead?
This shall be my vow.
And I will succeed.
15. SilenceI don't like being home alone.
It's just weird, makes me groan.
Being the only one walking down the stairs.
Shivering at the lifting of my hairs.
Like a sentinel on his nightly watch.
A tree being marred by his notch.
When the lords and ladies are gone,
I often think: I'm but a fawn.
I miss having people around.
Chatting about nonsense, rumors abound.
It's like a piece of me is missing.
It's all I can do before I start hissing...
God, I'm just so bored.
I really hate being ignored.
For once I wish they would talk to me.
I guess this leaves me to go to sea.
27. ForeignShe was different.
So unlike the others I'd seen before.
I don't know why.
For some reason I was drawn to her.
Was it her personality?
Caring yet adventurous?
Illusive, and infrequent?
She was so soft, so gentle.
Men would do anything for her.
To please someone like her.
One look at her eyes,
and it was like she saw right through you.
Like she knew who I was,
knew what I was...
But that didn't deter her.
For whatever reason,
she didn't shy away.
She was as drawn to me as I was to her.
Of all those around her,
she chose me.
Why, I have no clue.
Perhaps she saw a kindred spirit.
Someone who had been through the same as she.
Perhaps she saw a challenge,
to overcome with surprising ease.
We were so happy.
Oh, the look on her face,
as we welcomed you to the world.
If only it had lasted.
Just for a little while.
I still rue that day.
It's not what I had wanted.
She made the decision alone.
And left us, both of us,
to these dark days ahead.
Why did she have to leave?
24. No TimeWhy does life seem to fly by so?
Always in a rush to do something, be somewhere.
I mean I get it that what we do demands us to be swift.
But still, does that mean there's no moment to stand still?
Running, running, sailing, sailing.
It's like there's no end to it.
I don't really remember the last time I didn't have to do something.
I wish I was someplace else.
Somewhere foreign, exotic, different.
Like the far south I've heard about, what with deserts and those weird trees with rocks in them.
Or the mainland for that matter, near some great city.
How cool would that be? Me a lady of a royal family?
But not me, not the youngest of three, to a family feared.
I understand why people are scared of my father.
I'm frightened too, too scared to do anything about it at least.
And I guess my sisters can be quite scary at times.
But not me. At least I don't think so.
I wonder if dreams just stay that? Dreams?
Doomed hope and wishes?
Doomed it may be, it's what keeps me going.
Crazy Just Isn't MeWhen I hear voices am I insane?
My sanity I just feign?
I have plenty of friends.
I follow some of the trends.
I make a nice amount of pay.
I try to do as you say.
I do everything just right,
But still I have this fight.
Psychotic's what I am.
My mind just seems damned.
You don't know what it means.
Crazy is all you have seen.
This is what I must share:
Remember that we're there.
Going through normal life.
You'll never know our strife.
We act just like the rest.
Showing only our best.
If you could see what I see.
Crazy just isn't me.
Over and over and over.
Stop! Shut up!
Get out of my head!
Are you laughing at me?
Are you even laughing,
Or are you just a voice,
Just a soundtrack?
Over and over.
Driving me crazy.
What am I now?
Will this ever end?
CrushYou're so cute and so sweet.
Waiting patiently until we meet.
Some avoid meeting online,
But I think it will be fine.
You make me laugh and make me smile.
That hasn't happened in a while.
So casually with me you flirt.
I'm starting to forget I'm hurt.
It seems that you like me.
In person, we'll have to see.
In a few weeks you'll be here.
No connection I do fear.
Until then I continue to wait,
And hope that you are my fate.
I pray that you're one I can trust,
Because you are now my crush.
Hard to CareWhy is it so hard to care?
I know that I should be there.
I ignore the bell I hear chime.
Instead I sit and waste time.
There's nothing that I want to do.
The things I enjoy are few.
I know that I should be at work,
But my responsibilities I shirk.
The pills make me no longer sad,
But apathy is just as bad.
So I just let time go by.
I wonder when I'll finally try.
DreamI had a dream of you.
I think that's where you live.
Your terrible actions,
I said I would forgive.
Things seemed so normal.
They seemed like before.
My love for you was true,
And my heart did soar.
You said you didn't want me.
Just like when I'm awake.
You said it would be better.
You did it for my sake.
So now I'm left empty.
My heart broken twice.
Why do you do this,
With a gaze made of ice?
Dreams should be happy,
Where you can do what you want,
But instead my dreams,
You continue to haunt.
I just want to be happy,
And not think of you.
Why is that so difficult,
For me to do?
A Fake LoveHey, wait…
Please don’t go away…
I thought this is what they called fate
I thought that every day
Was supposed to be for
You and me…
I thought that this “love”
That was made so clear in my heart
Was always above
Every day we spent apart
Even though I seemed
To be falling apart
Deep inside, I knew
That all these things inside
I couldn’t hide from you
So now I reside
With the cold and hard
This wasn’t meant to be
This “love” between us
Wasn’t meant for you and me
So you can take your finesse
And leave me all alone
With nothing but your memory
If my time comes then may it come.
I would only delay it to tell you once more of my love.
I would ask for just a few moments more to
pour out my dying heart in the midst of its fading pulse...
I have but a list of thanks and apologies to make...
to many, but most to you...I am mourning not my death,
but that my time was cut off before I could die with you,
before I meet my God.
Here in the garden which that
we had once dreamt of, I'll wait.
Watching you through the transparency of the pond
we would've sat by...filling it further,
with the tears that fall back to you.
It is not Heaven without you...it is only Limbo as Governed by God...
yet alas is there no such place as paradise
without you to hold, kiss and love. Patience and faith
would be my only allies against time.
And should I die right now, or at any given time...
I would want you to know that I never stopped loving you.
That the pain you brought me,
only delivered me back into the passion that we fought for...
My sins lie with
What I've BecomeI hate to say I need the people in the morning streets
as they walk up and down the boulevards
dangling thoughts from their sleeves.
I have to look and see the tendrils of gossip on the walls
shimmering and glistening,
saying more than I would have thought.
In the eyes of every passer-by
a dull-mirror lies within.
The spark of truth that mixes
with the lies, tarnished with sin.
For as they look at me I know
they see what I've become:
how I've deteriorated from gifted
to just another "someone."
They tell me that I am too fragile,
they tell me I am weak.
They show that I spend to much time inside
the mind that has become bleak.
They shout their truth to the skies above
see it shimmer and glow,
and then as it starts falling
watch as it turns to snow.
Without their judgement, how could I see
what's tattooed on my skin?
What am I lacking that makes me so shallow
that I alone can't see where I've been?
There's a letter on my jacket
but God knows what it says.
So I look into the eyes of stran
May I be?Your reason to smile
Someone you'll walk a mile
The hand you like to hold
The warm hug when you're cold
Your wondrous drug that makes all fine
Someone you'll write tons of line
The strength when you feel weak
The soothing care when you're sick
Your happy thoughts all day
Someone who takes your breath away
The sleeping pill you need to snooze
The good 'ole groggy feeling even with no booze
Your "Let's get fat together"
Someone who inspire you to be better
The boost when you're down
The silly comedienne so you won't frown
Your sunshine after a hard rain
Someone who'll wipe out the pain
The courage to face your fears
The hanky to dry your tears
Your all this and more
Someone, the only one you adore
The scent you'll miss
The lips you'll ever kiss
May I also be
what you are to me?
My reason to smile
Someone I'll walk a mile
The hand I like to hold
The warm hug when I'm cold
My wondrous drug that makes all fine
Someone I write tons of line
The strength when I feel w
12. InsanityThis is crazy.
It sure seems hazy.
Why do I keep doing this?
Searching for elusive bliss.
I find myself ever chasing.
From one to the other, racing.
I know what will happen after.
And it sure ain't no laughter.
I can't stand how it makes one feel.
It takes a long time for me to heal.
But for some reason I still do it.
I know, stupid, I must admit.
I keep thinking this is the one.
After all this time, I've finally won.
So how come it never is?
And I just sit here with my frizz.
Why am I the one who always gets hurt?
And want to bury myself within the dirt?
Don't I deserve better?
What, no time for a letter?
Sometimes I think I might be messed up.
But then again who isn't?
a dangerous hallucinationThe light coming through the window was bright,
much too bright.
Even though my eyes were closed
I could see it-
The skin of my arms prickled,
sweat dripped from my brow.
It was two in the afternoon but…
the sun was setting
through the window facing east.
I should have seen the hutch,
shelves lined with bone china
decorated with delicate leaves and vines.
I was so thirsty
and reaching for cups that should have been there.
Instead I found a billboard of butterflies,
the colors raging
more than any rainbow
I'd ever seen.
Their wings fluttered and flashed
yet somehow they moved in slow motion.
I wanted to stand,
wanted to reach out and touch them but…
I couldn't move,
and yet I laughed
ignoring my dry mouth
and the tingling in my feet.
There was a tempest
on the rise
and in my blood.
A sugar rush disguised
as a riot of butterflies
and they were swarming me.
There was a small vial
of insulin in my pocket
that I nev
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More